Corporations are People, My Friend

Vile, petty, bickering creatures.

A total of 17 Viacom channels, including MTV, Comedy Central and Nickelodeon, went off the air for DirecTV customers on Wednesday as the companies were unable to agree to a new contract. DirecTV and Viacom were quick to pin the blame for the blackout on each other. In a statement, DirecTV claimed that Viacom was demanding a 30 percent increase on the price to carry its channels — which would amount to an extra $1 billion. "We have absolutely no problem compensating Viacom fairly, but they have now knowingly put our customers in the unreasonable position of either accepting their extravagant financial demands or losing some of their favorite TV shows," said Derek Chang, a DirecTV vice president.

Normally, I wouldn't care, since I'm not a DirecTV subscriber. Indeed, since I dropped Time Warner a few months ago, I'm nothing. I subsist on Netflix, HuluPlus, and the mercy of the Internet at large. But what took me aback was this:

Viacom even took popular programs, such as "The Daily Show," off the Internet to prevent DirecTV subscribers from watching the shows online.

It's true. If you go to thedailyshow.com or colbertnation.com you're treated to an anti-DirecTV propaganda ad from Viacom. If you then try to watch episodes of the shows, you discover that "full episodes are currently unavailable." Of course, TDS and TCR aren't new this week and even if they were they still seem to be accessible in full via Hulu (at least episodes aired within the last 30 days). But man, how fucking obnoxious.